Well today I have "had a day"! It started as most days do with Henry shouting at the top of his voice for MILK!!!!!!MUMMMMMMMMYYYYYY! You get the idea.... Husband was just leaving for work as he tends to do as all hell breaks loose in the house. Then E gets up and comes dancing into my room, no doubt excited as she knows that the two of us have to go to the hospital 30 miles away for a checkup and that she will have deposited the others in various places and have me to herself. A prize indeed! So she bounded downstairs with H in tow to watch TV. I managed to have another half hour in bed and woke with a start at 8am , knowing that if we did not get a move on, we would be late for school and the whole, very carefully orchestrated day would go to pot!
So, reluctantly I dragged myself out of bed and got dressed. Then I had to drag M out of bed as she was still snuggled down, probably hoping that I would not notice for a while! It is my job to notice the habits of my children, knowing them as I do! Recently, M has become like a teenager with lots of attitude, answering back and lie ins - except at the weekend when she gets up no problem!
I come downstairs to find all 3 in front of the TV in pyjamas, now it is 8.15 so I yell at them all to turn the TV off and come and get dressed and have some breakfast. Eventually we leave the house at 8.45. First we drop off M and she is reluctant to go on the playground without me even though none of the others have their mummy's with them. She eventually braves it and goes inside. Next is H at the child minders, I usually take him with us to appointments but I plan to work later so it is easier to drop him too.
We travel slowly behind an old lady who I insult loudly and suggest she gives up driving! Eventually get past her and behind someone in a 4 wheel drive who is also driving slowly , no doubt without anywhere to get to and able to take their time! Not me I have to get to Tesco petrol station to hoover out my messy and disgusting car which is emanating some strange odours! (later located the source of the smell - an old banana skin!) Half way through my cleaning the hoover sucks up something it shouldn't and the suction decreases so that I am unable to continue so back everything goes into the car. Books, toys, car seats, hair bobbles - you name it , it is in there.I know at this stage that I should really tell somebody but forget to despite going into the shop to buy some extra bread and milk, despite the fact that I have a food shop being delivered this evening anyway - just forgot to order bread and milk!
We get to the hospital and I enquire of E whether she still needs the toilet as she did previously. She says "No" she is ok now so I check and of course she is wet through. That puts me in a bad mood so we go and sit in silence in the cafe and I sip my very hot tea until it is time for the appointment. One of my pet hates is waiting for appointments in busy waiting rooms and I shouldn't say it , but I will, another one is E wanting me to give her lots of attention whilst waiting when all I want to do is daydream and read a magazine. I usually have to read to her several times and today was no different! Then we get weighed and measured.
Eventually we get called to the physio who enquires how E is doing with her new breathing apparatus. I cannot lie we have not touched it since she gave it to us ceremoniously in September where I promised that we would faithfully blow into it morning, noon and night! OOps I fail again ! You can see the exasperated expression on her face and I know how she feels as I am sure this happens to me in my work on a regular basis but I guess you have to be realistic and know that people have lives and are busy with other priorities. I was honest that because E has been well there has been no flashing red light to remind me of our blowing duties but promise that we will make it a part of our morning and evening routine from now on.
We then go and wait for a further 20 minutes and get to see the consultant which I am happy about because another pet hate is being fobbed off with the registrar who I am afraid to say I usually find difficult to understand! So happily we see the real mccoy and manage to have a long conversation with her about the coming winter and the perils of chest infections and catching them early etc. I always feel that the team feel that I lack a little in my detective skills when it comes to these infections and that I allow them to creep into E's chest and take up residence before I do something about it. I could be wrong but that is the feeling that I get.
We eventually get away and I note with despair that E still needs feeding and it is already 1300 hrs. I will not get her to school until 1400 by the time we drive home and have a quick lunch. It takes nearly an hour to get home so we have a quick snack and she is keen to get to school. We drop her off and I go and do my first visit of the day. I manage to see two patients then have to turn around and come back to pick up the girls as they have a tennis lesson taster session that I signed them up for thinking I would be on a day off. As it happened I already had monday off with M as she was wheezy and too unwell for school. So it was a race to pick them up, pick up their clothes and dash to the leisure centre - why do I bother??
We got there five minutes late and had to wait for the next session to start which was another 40 mins so then we were late getting H from the childminders. Eventually we got home at 1845. What a day!
To add to it all, am feeling bit fed up as work is so busy and my colleague has been off for 3 months but hopefully will be back soon. I feel tired and achey so I think I will take my mood to bed with me. Tomorrow is another day and hopefully will be a better one. Got a fireworks night at the school so really looking forward to that.
Wednesday 4 November 2009
Friday 30 October 2009
Back in the real world!
So what have I been up to lately? Well we had a lovely weekend with a very good friend and her partner and children. As always happens, one of the children was unwell and had to have a quick trip to minor injuries! My friend also got stung by a wasp whilst relaxing in our kitchen and minding her own business! We had lots of rain, as always happens when we have visitors to the North. It seems to be almost expected of our guests and though we protest that the sun shines alot - they do not seem to believe us! One of our friends, another couple were so wet after walking on the beach that we had to tumble dry all of their clothes!
We had a weekend in our extension which reminded us of the work that still needed to be done! Painting - I had started but it is a big room and I have to be in the mood. It needs flooring and all the finishing touches to make it liveable in. My plan is to paint one wall a different colour and have some nice new furniture, we know what plans are like though. Fancy perusing ebay for some bargain bits of furniture to try to get a mixture of old and new like the rest of the house.
It is a cold day today and I have been inside most of the day, apart from hanging out washing. I spent an hour painting with hubby and getting more and more cross with him telling me how to do things, so when he went to the shops I down tooled and had a lovely coffee and went on facebook. When he got back he finished the room himself! As I said I have to be in the mood! I have been trying to organise my itunes, what a nightmare that is! Still don't really understand why they keep scrambling up!
I have been trying to arrange some nights/ days out with friends but without actually pinning them down to arrange it fully I cannot make them do what I want! If I had my way I would have something on every other weekend so that there is always something to look forward to. I do love being at home these days and seem to have become alot more relaxed about not gadding about all over as it is exhausting and I never seem to settle for days after a trip away and I just get back into being at home and we are off again.So I guess there are advantages to being less popular and I am sure it is just that everyone else is busy with their lives and think that I will be busy with mine! I guess the three children might be a bit offputting for some!
Let it be known that I am available for any trips, nights, meals out or beers - I am back!!!!!!!
We had a weekend in our extension which reminded us of the work that still needed to be done! Painting - I had started but it is a big room and I have to be in the mood. It needs flooring and all the finishing touches to make it liveable in. My plan is to paint one wall a different colour and have some nice new furniture, we know what plans are like though. Fancy perusing ebay for some bargain bits of furniture to try to get a mixture of old and new like the rest of the house.
It is a cold day today and I have been inside most of the day, apart from hanging out washing. I spent an hour painting with hubby and getting more and more cross with him telling me how to do things, so when he went to the shops I down tooled and had a lovely coffee and went on facebook. When he got back he finished the room himself! As I said I have to be in the mood! I have been trying to organise my itunes, what a nightmare that is! Still don't really understand why they keep scrambling up!
I have been trying to arrange some nights/ days out with friends but without actually pinning them down to arrange it fully I cannot make them do what I want! If I had my way I would have something on every other weekend so that there is always something to look forward to. I do love being at home these days and seem to have become alot more relaxed about not gadding about all over as it is exhausting and I never seem to settle for days after a trip away and I just get back into being at home and we are off again.So I guess there are advantages to being less popular and I am sure it is just that everyone else is busy with their lives and think that I will be busy with mine! I guess the three children might be a bit offputting for some!
Let it be known that I am available for any trips, nights, meals out or beers - I am back!!!!!!!
Thursday 8 October 2009
getting older and greyer
Oh no just starting to feel old. my girls are now 7 years old and the boy is nearly 3 - where did the time go?
I have been with hubby for 14 years and I forgot our anniversary and arranged to go out with friends that night! how awful am I?
It is starting to happen! I have twice met with people through work and not recognised them, one mother who I had visited at home with her son , I just did not recognise at a meeting and it was only as she gave me clue after clue in the conversation that I realised who she was! It happened with another mother that I met and drank tea with in her front room - discussing some very worrying issues that she was having with her baby. I then interviewed her and phoned her and then met her again without recognising her at all. She had to tell me that she had met me before! I am losing my mind!!!!
I love my job but at the moment am really struggling to manage alone and keep forgetting the most basic of things and as I am working without the person I call my "brain" I really do keep forgetting things and only remembering the next day or when driving into work!
The other reason I know that I must be getting older is that time is passing so quickly! It is thursday already yet I feel that I have only just had monday! I never agreed with people who said that time passes quicker as you get older but it is true!!! Even my children have to remind me of things I have said I would do and then have forgotten to! Oh well, now I know the pleasure of remembering something important having just forgotten it - only hope it's not the start of alzeimers......
I have been with hubby for 14 years and I forgot our anniversary and arranged to go out with friends that night! how awful am I?
It is starting to happen! I have twice met with people through work and not recognised them, one mother who I had visited at home with her son , I just did not recognise at a meeting and it was only as she gave me clue after clue in the conversation that I realised who she was! It happened with another mother that I met and drank tea with in her front room - discussing some very worrying issues that she was having with her baby. I then interviewed her and phoned her and then met her again without recognising her at all. She had to tell me that she had met me before! I am losing my mind!!!!
I love my job but at the moment am really struggling to manage alone and keep forgetting the most basic of things and as I am working without the person I call my "brain" I really do keep forgetting things and only remembering the next day or when driving into work!
The other reason I know that I must be getting older is that time is passing so quickly! It is thursday already yet I feel that I have only just had monday! I never agreed with people who said that time passes quicker as you get older but it is true!!! Even my children have to remind me of things I have said I would do and then have forgotten to! Oh well, now I know the pleasure of remembering something important having just forgotten it - only hope it's not the start of alzeimers......
Sunday 20 September 2009
The Blues
I must stop starting my blog with "so here we are again" and start to be original! I think so many of my thoughts and feelings are just like other people's but there is that part of me that thinks surely not everyone on these blogs is happy ALL of the time? Are they? I admit it I feel slightly unhappy - I feel quite unwell which I have been for some time but admittedly not all of the time. This involves me having swellings in areas like neck and under arms, feeling generally cross and out of sorts (love that phrase) and cannot be quite bothered to do anything at all! If anyone knows me they will know that is not usual! I do love to eat, shop and drink out and today is a totally child free one so no excuse to be lying around in the house feeling cold and sorry for one's self!
Just about to indulge in some frothy coffee but whereas I would normally have already had it as I am (1) at home (2) without children - so no distractions or demands (3) have been in since about 1000 and it is now nearly 1200. In fact it will be time to go and get all the various children from places in 3 hours! Where does the time go to? Today I just cannot be bothered to drag myself up and out to the kitchen. Tomorrow I have made an appointment to see the GP - again not usual for me - tend to wait ages which I have done for the symptoms to go away - they still have not gone! Torn between wanting to have good symptoms so as to be an interesting case but not with anything too bad and wanting to feel well again.
I think from writing this blog I do feel more inspired to write in general. Not sure what the subject matter should be yet! Could do this sitting around indoors, listening to Elbow on spotify whilst typing my thoughts. I think one day I could have a best seller!
I keep thinking I might have fallen into the wrong hands in life and wondering if I had made some different choices along the way whether I would be happier?? What if I had gone to uni and done some arty farty degree and gone saving the world and was out there still eating rice and unleavened bread (I don't know what they do out there really). I had the opportunity years ago to go and visit a friend working for VSO then Medicines sans frontieres but was too much of a coward to do it! It scares me all the war torn places and unfamiliar territories. I think it taught me something that although for years I had planned to do these scarey things that maybe at heart I am more of a home maker than I think.
The other weekend I went to Manchester with hubby to watch Elbow and have some fun in the big city! Where we live is fairly unexciting and you would have to venture a couple of miles to have any real fun! Unless you count the fun you have at home and with the neighbours! It was great - I loved being so near to all that life and vibrancy. We stayed in the Palace hotel and I was always fascinated by the art cafe and theatres which were next door. We did have a great time but it was not long enough and I said to hubby that I sometimes wonder if we should have stayed where there was more going on. I miss the shopping and cafe culture - not quite the same with Mackays and the little cafes in whitby. I have become quite adept and finding good clothes on the internet and in town - there are a few places that sell up to date trendy clothes. Not many though!
These days I never seem to have the time to just soak up atmospheres, be an observer of others whilst chilling out. This weekend I was able to do some of that and I realised that I do miss it. I plan some more city type breaks now and a few meetings with mates that live a long way away. One such mate, in Leicestershire has already started planning where we will stay and what we will do. In the meantime I will just enjoy the peace and tranquillity of the life in the countryside with the cows !
Friday 11 September 2009
Holidays and juggling acts
Well here we are again. I know at least two people are now reading this blog which inspires me to keep it a bit more up to date. I think I do suffer with writers block sometimes - so much to say but not sure where to begin.....
So the holidays - never realised what friends meant when they said that they hated the school holidays which this year amounted to 7 weeks! This would probably have been alright if we did not need child care for 3 children for 5 of the 7 weeks! I think maybe next year it might be cheaper for hubby to take a week off to care for the offspring! As it was we booked them into a holiday scheme for 2 weeks which then left 3 weeks to cover as I would be off for 2 weeks. Again you would have thought that this was a simple task - just sign up for the weeks you need and away you go! Oh no - there is a queuing system and the people take all the applications that they have received by post into consideration first then those present then phone calls. Alot of people were disappointed this year not getting their choices. It is good value though, only at the start of the holidays I did not realise just how good value it was!
Thinking myself clever and insightful I had enrolled the help of a young lady for the weeks not covered by the holiday scheme. It was not until the caring for the two girls started that I thought to enquire about costs - only to be horrified by the costs and unable to do much about it. The other thing was that I had kind of stolen her away from another couple who she was also working so I could not really say I was not interested anymore - just had to grin and bear it! The deal had been struck! Still I did not have to do anything except take H so that bit was good, whereas it is all usually a big juggling act , for which I think I should get some type of award such is my dexterity and cleverness most mornings!
So the holidays - never realised what friends meant when they said that they hated the school holidays which this year amounted to 7 weeks! This would probably have been alright if we did not need child care for 3 children for 5 of the 7 weeks! I think maybe next year it might be cheaper for hubby to take a week off to care for the offspring! As it was we booked them into a holiday scheme for 2 weeks which then left 3 weeks to cover as I would be off for 2 weeks. Again you would have thought that this was a simple task - just sign up for the weeks you need and away you go! Oh no - there is a queuing system and the people take all the applications that they have received by post into consideration first then those present then phone calls. Alot of people were disappointed this year not getting their choices. It is good value though, only at the start of the holidays I did not realise just how good value it was!
Thinking myself clever and insightful I had enrolled the help of a young lady for the weeks not covered by the holiday scheme. It was not until the caring for the two girls started that I thought to enquire about costs - only to be horrified by the costs and unable to do much about it. The other thing was that I had kind of stolen her away from another couple who she was also working so I could not really say I was not interested anymore - just had to grin and bear it! The deal had been struck! Still I did not have to do anything except take H so that bit was good, whereas it is all usually a big juggling act , for which I think I should get some type of award such is my dexterity and cleverness most mornings!
Anyway we had a lovely break in the south, spending time with friends - lots of money and buying lots of things! The weather was fine and I felt pretty chilled out by the end of the first week. We then went down to Devon to stay near bro down there near Paignton. It was a funny week because we rented a static caravan and invited an assortment of relatives and their other halves and it was like mixing a giant melting pot of personalities which did not always go too well! It started as a cool time when hubby and cornish friend arrived at the start and we did alot of laughing and relaxed banter. Cornish friend kept things in perspective as well as she was outside looking into our family mix. She could see everyone's point of view very diplomatically! She was a bit frazzled by the end of it because her usually easy going daughter decided to behave as a bit of a diva which she was not used to.
It made me smile as I remember on countless occasions saying to others that my children's behaviour was totally out of character for them, but then it seemed that everytime we met with certain friends the behaviour did not improve! Maybe just the children's way of being paid attention to when mummy wants to chat non stop without paying attention to them. Her son used to do the same!
So all in all we had a great time! On a different note I seem to be finding that I am not such a good friend as I thought I was. Seem to be losing friends faster than I am gaining them and not really sure why! I think it may be just that you lose touch, but sometimes I get a little paranoid and wonder what I might have done. There is a girl at work who I used to see for coffee and the occasional meeting around the shops who has just gone cold on me and with no explanation. She used to text all the time and then stopped. The other day I thought maybe I was just being paranoid and suggested we get together (admittedly on facebook!) and she just did not reply. I have another friend who I have known for years - since working in Brighton - she again has gone cold on me and any attempt I make to contact her seems to fall flat! ~Bizarre - just don't get it at all. Is it me or them?
It is harder as time goes by to keep in touch with everyone - I go south less often than I did so there is less time to catch up so some of it I guess is a natural progression of friendships. On another note I suppose it is the nature of things not to stay the same - things are always changing. I guess I just need to grow up a little!!!?x
Sunday 9 August 2009
Time passes so quickly!
Hello again, for a long while I seem to have been too busy to blog and not able to arrange my thoughts into cohesive ones that I can express. Going to try today to get something down that might reflect myself and where I am at in my life at the moment. That in itself seems a daunting prospect! I think it is because I feel quite melancholy at times and although I mostly feel happy there is a part of me that is well aware of previous depression that steals upon me and makes me feel uneasy.
Life at the moment is fairly even, and busy with the bringing up of two seven year old girls with alot of attitude which conflicts with their previous mumsiness where they were my shadow and I could do no wrong. I do not really mind as I know they have to grow up and when they are stroppy it is sometimes amusing but they get cross if I laugh at them so I have to keep a straight face whilst they stamp and grump at me. The two year old is potty training so not many minutes at home go past without hearing "mummy poo" or " I need a wee" shouted at the top of his voice. He is already a very demanding boy but sooooo cute! When the girls were little I was the same just absolutely amazed by the way they were so entrancing and delightful - most of the time.
I have reached a point in my life where I am starting to get my own life back - it seems it has been on hold when I have been preparing to be pregnant, being pregnant and having babies, miscarriages ( two times at second trimester stages) and heparin injections to have H. No longer do I have to worry or fret about not having children - they have arrived! With all the complications that they bring I would not have it any other way and in fact if I were younger I would have had at least one more! However I will not push my luck and I do not have the drive to have any more - it is like an invisible force that yearning to have a baby and the chances in life that it brings. I love children, always have done and I work with them every day too. They fascinate me and I do find it a challenge to bring them up in the way I think they should be. I love them so much more than it is possible to express and love the thought of the future when they become what they will become. It is an exciting and scarey thought - you want them to succeed in life and become the best they can be although I have ambitions for them - it is more that they will be lovely people that others want to be with.
For me my friends are my best thing after my family and I want them to have lots of friendships with others because mine are so good and some have lasted so long that I find they buoy you up throughout your life - good times and bad. I would not want to be without one single one. I do see some tendencies in my children that I could encourage but I want them to decide what they want to do. I think that you can push them to much and although they may earn alot of money and be able to buy anything money can buy sometimes that does not make people happy or fulfilled. Often very ambitious people are so driven that they forget others feelings or to make time to enjoy the simple things in life.
I would say that for myself there is alot more I would like to do but I am content with what I have - finally! It has taken a while. I have always been one of these people that would never like to admit it but have always wanted what others have - I don't like this trait and I don't know where it comes from but it is there. I wonder if it is just discontentment with your own life? Any way I am happy to report that I can now look around and be content with myself and the way that I am and do not want to be like anyone else. I am not sure if this is a normal trait within us all because I have always tried to pretend I was not like this but maybe lots of us feel that way and don't share it. I have alluded to this fact with some of my closer friends that might not judge me too harshly but I am pleased that at 42 years old I have nearly put this to bed!
However, I do have some good qualities: loyal friend, loving mother, hardworking,passionate about life, positive attitude. I hope these outweigh the darker sides of my nature! I do enjoy my job but do not like the thought of doing it in 10 years time so I feel at a bit of a crossroads and I am not sure which way I will go. I have many interests: psychology so could do counselling and I have lots of personal experience that could make this a natural way to go - not sure if I might find it a bit tedious day in - day out listening to others and their feelings. Then I have always wanted to write a book - probably fiction - I would love to be able to produce at least one novel in my lifetime. I read so much - I have thought about editing books as well - but maybe I have left it a little late to start an entirely new career??? ~Anyway these are my thoughts - we will have to see which way I go........
Life at the moment is fairly even, and busy with the bringing up of two seven year old girls with alot of attitude which conflicts with their previous mumsiness where they were my shadow and I could do no wrong. I do not really mind as I know they have to grow up and when they are stroppy it is sometimes amusing but they get cross if I laugh at them so I have to keep a straight face whilst they stamp and grump at me. The two year old is potty training so not many minutes at home go past without hearing "mummy poo" or " I need a wee" shouted at the top of his voice. He is already a very demanding boy but sooooo cute! When the girls were little I was the same just absolutely amazed by the way they were so entrancing and delightful - most of the time.
I have reached a point in my life where I am starting to get my own life back - it seems it has been on hold when I have been preparing to be pregnant, being pregnant and having babies, miscarriages ( two times at second trimester stages) and heparin injections to have H. No longer do I have to worry or fret about not having children - they have arrived! With all the complications that they bring I would not have it any other way and in fact if I were younger I would have had at least one more! However I will not push my luck and I do not have the drive to have any more - it is like an invisible force that yearning to have a baby and the chances in life that it brings. I love children, always have done and I work with them every day too. They fascinate me and I do find it a challenge to bring them up in the way I think they should be. I love them so much more than it is possible to express and love the thought of the future when they become what they will become. It is an exciting and scarey thought - you want them to succeed in life and become the best they can be although I have ambitions for them - it is more that they will be lovely people that others want to be with.
For me my friends are my best thing after my family and I want them to have lots of friendships with others because mine are so good and some have lasted so long that I find they buoy you up throughout your life - good times and bad. I would not want to be without one single one. I do see some tendencies in my children that I could encourage but I want them to decide what they want to do. I think that you can push them to much and although they may earn alot of money and be able to buy anything money can buy sometimes that does not make people happy or fulfilled. Often very ambitious people are so driven that they forget others feelings or to make time to enjoy the simple things in life.
I would say that for myself there is alot more I would like to do but I am content with what I have - finally! It has taken a while. I have always been one of these people that would never like to admit it but have always wanted what others have - I don't like this trait and I don't know where it comes from but it is there. I wonder if it is just discontentment with your own life? Any way I am happy to report that I can now look around and be content with myself and the way that I am and do not want to be like anyone else. I am not sure if this is a normal trait within us all because I have always tried to pretend I was not like this but maybe lots of us feel that way and don't share it. I have alluded to this fact with some of my closer friends that might not judge me too harshly but I am pleased that at 42 years old I have nearly put this to bed!
However, I do have some good qualities: loyal friend, loving mother, hardworking,passionate about life, positive attitude. I hope these outweigh the darker sides of my nature! I do enjoy my job but do not like the thought of doing it in 10 years time so I feel at a bit of a crossroads and I am not sure which way I will go. I have many interests: psychology so could do counselling and I have lots of personal experience that could make this a natural way to go - not sure if I might find it a bit tedious day in - day out listening to others and their feelings. Then I have always wanted to write a book - probably fiction - I would love to be able to produce at least one novel in my lifetime. I read so much - I have thought about editing books as well - but maybe I have left it a little late to start an entirely new career??? ~Anyway these are my thoughts - we will have to see which way I go........
Sunday 21 June 2009
Melancholy weekends
Well here we are again. It is always so late at night when I get time to write! This is the time that is my own with noone demanding anything of me. Even hubby is away so the house is ultra quiet since he cannot survive without either the TV blaring out motor related, fishing or history programmes or the ipod with Elbow - his favourite tunes to relax to!
So no just the ticking of the clock and have not bothered with either TV or radio - I would currently be listening to some newly downloaded tunes but GRRRRR cannot access them tho I know they are lurking within the computer somewhere! It has taken some restraint on my part not just to smash it all to bits on the floor! A throwback of temper from my teenage years when things don't go my way! The last time I did this I learned a valuable lesson - thinking my 4 year old daughter had broken and jammed my ipod I confess I threw it onto our stone, kitchen floor in a rage (it felt quite good) and smashed it to bits! When hubby heard what I had done he cheerfully told me that had I waited that the battery would have run out and then it would have worked again! So this time I know that the music is there - I can see the files - just cannot open the .......things!
Oh well back to life without the things we so take for granted!
This weekend has been a challenge without hubby - but actually I have found it to be more relaxing and laid back than my usual weekend with him. I think some of the reason is that I am not having to deal with his grumps and whinges as well as the children ( though I feel slightly disloyal for saying so!)
It has all in all been quite a lovely weekend - I guess more because the 3 children are kind of at my mercy and have to do what I say whereas when he is around I have to take his opinions into account as well. For instance I hate feeling that we should cook a big roast dinner on a sunday - though I don't mind eating what he produces! This week no roast - pasta which actually was not as nice as it should have been since I went a bit overboard with the spinach! But how lovely not to have to argue about what to have for dinner. Yesterday we ate out which also was lovely because he would have found that stressful and expensive.
We spent hours watching squirrels and ducks in the park which was just lovely - not to be rushing around to get back - just to do and be. A time I will bank in my memory of lovely memories with children to dwell on when they have grown and left me. Might be a bit premature in my thoughts since they are 6,6 and 2 yrs of age!
I find myself thinking about life when they are grown and wondering how things will be then. I hope they will be successful and happy - more than anything that they will be happy with their life and the choices they make.
Sometimes I think I forget how lucky I am. I did not think I would ever be where I am now..... Married - never thought I would stay with someone long enough to have a longterm relationship! Been 14 years now! Having children - always wanted them but feared that I would not be able to have them or would just have one. So lucky to have 3 - and twins too - very lucky. Then to be living where we live in a big house - not huge but larger than I ever thought we would be able to afford - especially down south. We would have struggled to get anything without working thousands of hours a week to pay for it. We have the beach down the road in 2 directions. The North Yorkshire moors on our doorstep.
Just sometimes wish I was a little nearer to my friends in the middle and south of England. That it was not sooooo cold in the winter and that more people would visit more often. But that said all in all not a bad place to live and I have some great friends here which I would miss if we were not here so really I cannot complain though sometimes I would like to! My social life is slowly improving and I have nearly adjusted to not being the centre of other people's universes and understanding that they are unable to pick up the phone or make regular contact so busy are they! I only said nearly.........
So no just the ticking of the clock and have not bothered with either TV or radio - I would currently be listening to some newly downloaded tunes but GRRRRR cannot access them tho I know they are lurking within the computer somewhere! It has taken some restraint on my part not just to smash it all to bits on the floor! A throwback of temper from my teenage years when things don't go my way! The last time I did this I learned a valuable lesson - thinking my 4 year old daughter had broken and jammed my ipod I confess I threw it onto our stone, kitchen floor in a rage (it felt quite good) and smashed it to bits! When hubby heard what I had done he cheerfully told me that had I waited that the battery would have run out and then it would have worked again! So this time I know that the music is there - I can see the files - just cannot open the .......things!
Oh well back to life without the things we so take for granted!
This weekend has been a challenge without hubby - but actually I have found it to be more relaxing and laid back than my usual weekend with him. I think some of the reason is that I am not having to deal with his grumps and whinges as well as the children ( though I feel slightly disloyal for saying so!)
It has all in all been quite a lovely weekend - I guess more because the 3 children are kind of at my mercy and have to do what I say whereas when he is around I have to take his opinions into account as well. For instance I hate feeling that we should cook a big roast dinner on a sunday - though I don't mind eating what he produces! This week no roast - pasta which actually was not as nice as it should have been since I went a bit overboard with the spinach! But how lovely not to have to argue about what to have for dinner. Yesterday we ate out which also was lovely because he would have found that stressful and expensive.
We spent hours watching squirrels and ducks in the park which was just lovely - not to be rushing around to get back - just to do and be. A time I will bank in my memory of lovely memories with children to dwell on when they have grown and left me. Might be a bit premature in my thoughts since they are 6,6 and 2 yrs of age!
I find myself thinking about life when they are grown and wondering how things will be then. I hope they will be successful and happy - more than anything that they will be happy with their life and the choices they make.
Sometimes I think I forget how lucky I am. I did not think I would ever be where I am now..... Married - never thought I would stay with someone long enough to have a longterm relationship! Been 14 years now! Having children - always wanted them but feared that I would not be able to have them or would just have one. So lucky to have 3 - and twins too - very lucky. Then to be living where we live in a big house - not huge but larger than I ever thought we would be able to afford - especially down south. We would have struggled to get anything without working thousands of hours a week to pay for it. We have the beach down the road in 2 directions. The North Yorkshire moors on our doorstep.
Just sometimes wish I was a little nearer to my friends in the middle and south of England. That it was not sooooo cold in the winter and that more people would visit more often. But that said all in all not a bad place to live and I have some great friends here which I would miss if we were not here so really I cannot complain though sometimes I would like to! My social life is slowly improving and I have nearly adjusted to not being the centre of other people's universes and understanding that they are unable to pick up the phone or make regular contact so busy are they! I only said nearly.........
Saturday 30 May 2009
hospital cares
Well what a week it has been! Has been mixed with pleasure and pain - mainly daughter's pain which is harder than own to go through. Spent a very pleasurable weekend with mum and brother which was just perfect. I love entertaining and having people to stay, so was in my element! Although I do note that the sugar and coffee supplies diminish faster than I can replenish them! But ABSOLUTELY worth it all. They arrived on the friday and left on monday so lots of time to sun in the garden, visit the forest, have a BBQ, catch up on the gossip and generally sup wine and have fun.
Monday dawned very early as I was worried about impending surgery and wanted to get the most of the time left with brother and mum , although mum did not rise until alot later! I let her off though as she was very good one night, talking to H at 1 am and sorting him out - so can't be too critical! Spent some time putting world to rights and lots of coffee and chats with bro as preparing to go to hospital with E the next day which I was not looking forward to. Eventually they had to leave and E and I left for York to stay with a friend before going on to the hospital.
We actually had a lovely time with our friends and rose early, despite the rose wine! Did not get alot of sleep and read until the early hours but woke early enough to drive to the hospital in good time. We had to be there for 7.30 to go to theatre about 9.00. There seemed to be alot of hanging out in the playroom with few toys and books but E did some colouring and it was a good distraction for us both. Eventually though we were called to put E into pyjamas and walked to the theatre which is so different to how things were when I trained to be a nurse (20 yrs ago!)
It was a relaxed induction into anaesthesia and I left as she fell asleep. It was nerve wracking because we did not really know what she would need doing but she had been having problems with severe tummy aches for over a year so we felt something needed sorting out. She was gone for nearly 4 hrs. I managed to drink lots of coffee, have frantic phone call from hubby who was very lost and threatening to turn around to go home, have other calls and messages from friends and brother but the time passed slowly......... I kept going back to the ward for progress reports but none were available and the staff were not keen to try to reassure me by ringing down to see how things were going. Again I would have tried everything to reassure anxious parents but instead I just felt like I was in the way and went back to the canteen to brood longer over my daughter's fate and how it was all somehow my fault that she was in there.
Eventually we did get to go and see her in the recovery and the relief was immense. We had a prior visit from the surgeon who gave us a positive progress report and said that all had gone well. She had key hole surgery which had just left 3 holes - no stitches or large openings which I was dreading. If she had been in alot of pain I would not have been able to bear it for her but luckily I didn't have to. She was fast asleep in recovery and would not wake but the recovery nurse said she had been and could go back to her bed on the ward.
It was not long before she woke up and gave us a frown then a smile - if you know her that is just how she is! Was so relieved - let hubby off to get a sandwich then drive home again to collect others. This was the start of my time in solitary ,where I was only spoken to at handover times and treated as a nuisance if I wanted anything else. Although the nurses were lovely - just misinformed. They need to realise that being busy doing "nursey" stuff is not what it is all about - you need to spend time getting to know your patients - then you can be more effective in your caring. That first evening I managed to pull her drip out so we had a bit of a blood bath whilst trying to change her bed after a huge wee which I was mortified by - being a nurse who should know better! However, I did feel that maybe she was having too much fluid being as she was swimming in it! Probably did her a favour and at least she did not get a swollen hand which she did last time she was in. All in all probably not the worst thing I could have done!
Luckily the ward was situated next to the new and funky cafeteria - hugely expensive but with comfy chairs and Latte which is a must when in stressful situations! Thank goodness too for my friend who visited daily as she was working there in the hospital - it just kept me sane and gave me someone to off load onto (being as the nurses were totally disinterested!) I had thought I would be able to regale them with tales from my nursing and that they would look on with admiration and in awe of all my years experience but I was robbed of this opportunity and subject to complete indifference, worse - disinterest - the worst thing! I guess it serves me right for trying to dine out on my daughter's misfortunes but I know that years ago the nurse looking after us would have made it her business to know the ins and outs of our lives. It was a lonely time, being far from home and with little support - a friendly word would have gone a long way.
My friend and I thought we would test the nurses and their curiosity by planting some books that she had given me for work which could only mean I was something in nursing - but even this little taster was met with no interest whatsoever! I was relishing telling them that I was a sister but just did not get the opportunity to air this knowledge! The disinterest was at such a height that the nurse looking after us did not even check E's wound before discharge or give me any information about caring for her once home. I think possibly it was a very busy ward but I do think the time that they had could have been better spent speaking to their charges rather than sitting at the desk.
Anyway huge gratitude and relief that I have my gorgeous girl home, fairly intact and seemingly pain free - and I guess for that reason I will probably just be pathetically grateful and not express my extreme disatisfaction.................................................................................................
Monday dawned very early as I was worried about impending surgery and wanted to get the most of the time left with brother and mum , although mum did not rise until alot later! I let her off though as she was very good one night, talking to H at 1 am and sorting him out - so can't be too critical! Spent some time putting world to rights and lots of coffee and chats with bro as preparing to go to hospital with E the next day which I was not looking forward to. Eventually they had to leave and E and I left for York to stay with a friend before going on to the hospital.
We actually had a lovely time with our friends and rose early, despite the rose wine! Did not get alot of sleep and read until the early hours but woke early enough to drive to the hospital in good time. We had to be there for 7.30 to go to theatre about 9.00. There seemed to be alot of hanging out in the playroom with few toys and books but E did some colouring and it was a good distraction for us both. Eventually though we were called to put E into pyjamas and walked to the theatre which is so different to how things were when I trained to be a nurse (20 yrs ago!)
It was a relaxed induction into anaesthesia and I left as she fell asleep. It was nerve wracking because we did not really know what she would need doing but she had been having problems with severe tummy aches for over a year so we felt something needed sorting out. She was gone for nearly 4 hrs. I managed to drink lots of coffee, have frantic phone call from hubby who was very lost and threatening to turn around to go home, have other calls and messages from friends and brother but the time passed slowly......... I kept going back to the ward for progress reports but none were available and the staff were not keen to try to reassure me by ringing down to see how things were going. Again I would have tried everything to reassure anxious parents but instead I just felt like I was in the way and went back to the canteen to brood longer over my daughter's fate and how it was all somehow my fault that she was in there.
Eventually we did get to go and see her in the recovery and the relief was immense. We had a prior visit from the surgeon who gave us a positive progress report and said that all had gone well. She had key hole surgery which had just left 3 holes - no stitches or large openings which I was dreading. If she had been in alot of pain I would not have been able to bear it for her but luckily I didn't have to. She was fast asleep in recovery and would not wake but the recovery nurse said she had been and could go back to her bed on the ward.
It was not long before she woke up and gave us a frown then a smile - if you know her that is just how she is! Was so relieved - let hubby off to get a sandwich then drive home again to collect others. This was the start of my time in solitary ,where I was only spoken to at handover times and treated as a nuisance if I wanted anything else. Although the nurses were lovely - just misinformed. They need to realise that being busy doing "nursey" stuff is not what it is all about - you need to spend time getting to know your patients - then you can be more effective in your caring. That first evening I managed to pull her drip out so we had a bit of a blood bath whilst trying to change her bed after a huge wee which I was mortified by - being a nurse who should know better! However, I did feel that maybe she was having too much fluid being as she was swimming in it! Probably did her a favour and at least she did not get a swollen hand which she did last time she was in. All in all probably not the worst thing I could have done!
Luckily the ward was situated next to the new and funky cafeteria - hugely expensive but with comfy chairs and Latte which is a must when in stressful situations! Thank goodness too for my friend who visited daily as she was working there in the hospital - it just kept me sane and gave me someone to off load onto (being as the nurses were totally disinterested!) I had thought I would be able to regale them with tales from my nursing and that they would look on with admiration and in awe of all my years experience but I was robbed of this opportunity and subject to complete indifference, worse - disinterest - the worst thing! I guess it serves me right for trying to dine out on my daughter's misfortunes but I know that years ago the nurse looking after us would have made it her business to know the ins and outs of our lives. It was a lonely time, being far from home and with little support - a friendly word would have gone a long way.
My friend and I thought we would test the nurses and their curiosity by planting some books that she had given me for work which could only mean I was something in nursing - but even this little taster was met with no interest whatsoever! I was relishing telling them that I was a sister but just did not get the opportunity to air this knowledge! The disinterest was at such a height that the nurse looking after us did not even check E's wound before discharge or give me any information about caring for her once home. I think possibly it was a very busy ward but I do think the time that they had could have been better spent speaking to their charges rather than sitting at the desk.
Anyway huge gratitude and relief that I have my gorgeous girl home, fairly intact and seemingly pain free - and I guess for that reason I will probably just be pathetically grateful and not express my extreme disatisfaction.................................................................................................
Friday 15 May 2009
A day in the life of
Well today has been a challenge. A day in the life of "me". Starts with hubby at 5.50 and his alarm which sounds like a choir of Africans singing - not the most relaxing of alarms, although pleasant in its' own way. Managed to fall asleep until about 6.45 when H woke as he does, demanding milk "mummy milk" he chants until I get up to make it - or as I did the other day told him to be quiet and when he was then I would make it! Worked like a dream - managed at least another half hour! Anyway I have found that school days are less stressful if I start them earlier so I got up.
The days also start better if H has his milk and is in a good mood! Then tackled the girls who both wanted me to dress them and moaned about doing their own socks! Eventually got dressed myself and dressed H. Found some pleasure in wearing normal clothes and not work garb so felt in quite a good mood.
Downstairs - having to hold H hand all the way whilst juggling nappy, bottle and cups in the other " I want hold your hand mummy - pppleeeassseee" How can you resist? Anyway on goes the radio - blaring out sounds of the here and now - having been instructed by M to turn it up loader! Then the breakfast orders start - E wanted the cereal I had yesterday with milk, M wanted granola but with milk not her usual yoghurt! H wanted granola with yoghurt but eyed his sisters with suspicion. Finally got own breakfast despite being asked to then furnish them all with juice and various other requests.
Off to school then - well via the GP as E has a chesty cough and is having some surgery in a couple of weeks and I don't want it to be cancelled. So we wait and wait and wait. Finally get out of there and just make school in time. Then drop off H at nursery where he goes on a friday , then back to GP for antibiotics, then home! Phew!
See friend unloading toddler from her car in the pouring rain - toy with the idea of dropping in for coffee and a chat but decide to have some very indulgent "Me time" and watch "27 dresses" which I absolutely loved - so girlie - fabulous! By the time it ends I am nearly late picking up H and seem to have achieved very little, but it has given me some space in this mad life that we live and that is a rare and precious thing.
Bring H home and do a few chores then have lunch which is left overs from the night before which we enjoy along with crisps and other bits and pieces. H says he is tired so manage to settle him in front of TV for about 30 mins with warm milk - well he's tired and think he might sleep. Then before you know it - it's time to collect the girls again!
Once we have collected them we go as a treat to get some sweets then drive home. We are home about 10 mins which is long enough to locate E's latest glasses prescription and we are off again - this time into town. We choose new glasses, have a fitting and drive home again. Get in and throw fish fingers and healthy chips into the oven, bath H , well shove him in the bath and drink tea whilst half listening to his questions about all things bath-related . Then hubby gets home so leave H to splash and swim to catch up with him. Get H out of bath and into pyjamas - feed all 3 - shouting that the girls only have 20 mins to eat it before we have to go out AGAIN!
Finally they finish and we set off for bingo at their school and arrive with a minute to spare. Do required time at bingo - pour cups of tea and wash up enough to be thought helpful! When I return from helping there is only 1/2 cup of tea and 1/4 egg sandwich left. E gives me half her sausage roll which I am touched by. Eventually get to leave having not won anything with two upset children who knew what prizes they wanted and did not get!
Get home and RELAX - well after shouting at them again to get their pyjamas on, have some more to eat and finally get into bed. Have a bath and read book (longterm favourite pastimes) with a cup of tea and hot cross bun (odd I know!) E comes to visit at least half a dozen times before they eventually settle and go to sleep.
Go downstairs, hubby is asleep. Now on computer and he is snoring gently next to me!
The days also start better if H has his milk and is in a good mood! Then tackled the girls who both wanted me to dress them and moaned about doing their own socks! Eventually got dressed myself and dressed H. Found some pleasure in wearing normal clothes and not work garb so felt in quite a good mood.
Downstairs - having to hold H hand all the way whilst juggling nappy, bottle and cups in the other " I want hold your hand mummy - pppleeeassseee" How can you resist? Anyway on goes the radio - blaring out sounds of the here and now - having been instructed by M to turn it up loader! Then the breakfast orders start - E wanted the cereal I had yesterday with milk, M wanted granola but with milk not her usual yoghurt! H wanted granola with yoghurt but eyed his sisters with suspicion. Finally got own breakfast despite being asked to then furnish them all with juice and various other requests.
Off to school then - well via the GP as E has a chesty cough and is having some surgery in a couple of weeks and I don't want it to be cancelled. So we wait and wait and wait. Finally get out of there and just make school in time. Then drop off H at nursery where he goes on a friday , then back to GP for antibiotics, then home! Phew!
See friend unloading toddler from her car in the pouring rain - toy with the idea of dropping in for coffee and a chat but decide to have some very indulgent "Me time" and watch "27 dresses" which I absolutely loved - so girlie - fabulous! By the time it ends I am nearly late picking up H and seem to have achieved very little, but it has given me some space in this mad life that we live and that is a rare and precious thing.
Bring H home and do a few chores then have lunch which is left overs from the night before which we enjoy along with crisps and other bits and pieces. H says he is tired so manage to settle him in front of TV for about 30 mins with warm milk - well he's tired and think he might sleep. Then before you know it - it's time to collect the girls again!
Once we have collected them we go as a treat to get some sweets then drive home. We are home about 10 mins which is long enough to locate E's latest glasses prescription and we are off again - this time into town. We choose new glasses, have a fitting and drive home again. Get in and throw fish fingers and healthy chips into the oven, bath H , well shove him in the bath and drink tea whilst half listening to his questions about all things bath-related . Then hubby gets home so leave H to splash and swim to catch up with him. Get H out of bath and into pyjamas - feed all 3 - shouting that the girls only have 20 mins to eat it before we have to go out AGAIN!
Finally they finish and we set off for bingo at their school and arrive with a minute to spare. Do required time at bingo - pour cups of tea and wash up enough to be thought helpful! When I return from helping there is only 1/2 cup of tea and 1/4 egg sandwich left. E gives me half her sausage roll which I am touched by. Eventually get to leave having not won anything with two upset children who knew what prizes they wanted and did not get!
Get home and RELAX - well after shouting at them again to get their pyjamas on, have some more to eat and finally get into bed. Have a bath and read book (longterm favourite pastimes) with a cup of tea and hot cross bun (odd I know!) E comes to visit at least half a dozen times before they eventually settle and go to sleep.
Go downstairs, hubby is asleep. Now on computer and he is snoring gently next to me!
Monday 4 May 2009
bank holiday madness
Well ,here we are again and we have survived the BANK HOLIDAY - there is soooo much pressure to have a good time! we have struggled - my hubby and I this weekend to entertain the 3 children and not lose it too much with them! There have been moments of melt down when children have been sent to their bedroom to "think about it" and unfortunately, looking back I have not been the calm, serene parent that I think I should be. However , we have survived it and looking back it has been a great day!
I surfaced late today which was a real luxury - hubby got the milk this morning - that is a fairly rare event because he is better at ignoring our small boy than I am. Usually it is me with alot of attitude (and I wonder where the girls get it from!) Stomp, stomp, stomp down the stairs - click the kettle on - always a must if in the vicinity of the kettle! Even if I don't want a drink, I always like to put the kettle on - just in case! Anyway today I was able to languish in my bed just a bit longer than usual and without a hangover too! Did get out of bed because I do like a nice cuppa when there and hubby had only done the milk part so I managed to make breakfast for 2 of the children then snuck back to bed! Heaven!!
I love a good read so, avoiding the amorous advances of hubby, I managed to read a few chapters and although I could hear the drone of cbeebies downstairs I was able to give myself some time and space - much needed to start the day! Anyway back to the BANK HOLIDAY! Eventually I managed to drag myself out of bed - enticed by a latte made by hubby - that's another thing whilst on the subject why oh why is it so difficult for me to get dressed in the morning??? I can get out of bed but it can take me hours to actually put some clothes on! Is this a usual state of affairs?? It seems to be getting worse as I get older! Any way eventually committed myself to the actual getting dressed act and after that I am ready for anything!
Paddled downstairs, just a turn of phrase , did not actually paddle. The children were in various states, some breakfasted, some half dressed, playing games, watching TV. As soon as I landed it seemed that the arguing started! There was a fight over doggies, one over dog beds and blankets etc etc. Children went into the garden but it was too cold so they came back in again. The weather was that horrible in between stage - sunny but too windy - which meant that the children were unable to go outside but not happy inside so kept going in and out! Causing me to have to keep getting up and down to ensure that H did not trap his fingers in the door!
Then hubby suggested going to the allotment (one of my pet hates as nothing for them to do there)and too much for me to have to do as well. I like to ignore its existence - too much like hard work - half an acre of hard ground on a slope, covered in weeds, thistles and stinging nettles. Not my idea of fun, though I do admire hubby's enthusiasm and feel that I should sometimes support him as I will happily eat whatever grows! Not sure that much will as there seems to be evidence of deer or large animals that come through at night and I am sure they ate half of it all last year! So he took M in the car with his prize rotavator and I trudged down the lane with 2 grumpy children!
Eventually got there without too much incident - unlike the time a few weeks ago when I was locked out and went to find hubby. Thinking he would be at the allotment I walked 3 tired and fed up children down the lane with scooters which was bound to end in disaster - and it did. E managed to fall off - I was already in a bad mood so ignored her cries , they were all crying and whining anyway and I have learned to zone out sometimes! - just wanting to get home after finding hubby was not there! It was starting to get cool and I was getting fed up - understatement - I was starting to think of all the things I would do to hubby when I eventually found him!
It was only as time went on that I realised E had actually really hurt herself and was bleeding profusely! (oops - not going to get mother of the year award here then)! But as we were on a lane in the middle of nowhere I had nothing on me to help stop the flow of blood or tears and just felt like crying myself. Just as I was despairing of the fact that I am not the sort of mother to have tissues to hand (unlike my own who had an obsession for them!) , weird bloke from down the road pulled up and quickly jumped to assist me with a hanky! Phew! life improved after that and we all managed to get home. Then I remembered there was a key with a neighbour and was able to gain access back to the house! and plasters! Vowing never to leave the premises again!
At the allotment I worked with hubby putting in onions and potatoes and trying to ignore the cries of "I'm bored" we worked quickly with rake and fork to break up the ground and insert the vegetables into holes. Finally, after an hour we finished. The children were keen to get home so it was an easier walk and we played "I spy" which passed the time. Promising H the bribe of cookies, he was on a mission in his spider wellies to get up the hill without moaning too much!
I keep wanting to put " and they all went home for tea" - a throwback to my Enid Blyton days when every Famous Five book had lengthy descriptions of high tea and high jinks at the farm. That's all I can remember. We had lunch then decided what to do next. It was agreed that it was too windy for the beach, and being BANK HOLIDAY would be too busy down there to park. The local farm - would be okay, apart from the lack of animals but if it rained there was not much to do. Finally decided to drive in the car - which always works as a calmer of children and frayed nerves of parents to a countryside centre with tea rooms and play area - winner!
And we actually managed to have alot of fun. We went to see the birds in a hideout, had a walk and then played in the play area, though it did rain so this was cut short - blessed relief - a tea room with fabulous iced cakes, fudge brownies, scones - I could go on! and on! There were even toys to play with! Hoorah! So hubby and myself swapped a smile over the steaming brews and relaxed - aaaaaahhhhhhhhh
I surfaced late today which was a real luxury - hubby got the milk this morning - that is a fairly rare event because he is better at ignoring our small boy than I am. Usually it is me with alot of attitude (and I wonder where the girls get it from!) Stomp, stomp, stomp down the stairs - click the kettle on - always a must if in the vicinity of the kettle! Even if I don't want a drink, I always like to put the kettle on - just in case! Anyway today I was able to languish in my bed just a bit longer than usual and without a hangover too! Did get out of bed because I do like a nice cuppa when there and hubby had only done the milk part so I managed to make breakfast for 2 of the children then snuck back to bed! Heaven!!
I love a good read so, avoiding the amorous advances of hubby, I managed to read a few chapters and although I could hear the drone of cbeebies downstairs I was able to give myself some time and space - much needed to start the day! Anyway back to the BANK HOLIDAY! Eventually I managed to drag myself out of bed - enticed by a latte made by hubby - that's another thing whilst on the subject why oh why is it so difficult for me to get dressed in the morning??? I can get out of bed but it can take me hours to actually put some clothes on! Is this a usual state of affairs?? It seems to be getting worse as I get older! Any way eventually committed myself to the actual getting dressed act and after that I am ready for anything!
Paddled downstairs, just a turn of phrase , did not actually paddle. The children were in various states, some breakfasted, some half dressed, playing games, watching TV. As soon as I landed it seemed that the arguing started! There was a fight over doggies, one over dog beds and blankets etc etc. Children went into the garden but it was too cold so they came back in again. The weather was that horrible in between stage - sunny but too windy - which meant that the children were unable to go outside but not happy inside so kept going in and out! Causing me to have to keep getting up and down to ensure that H did not trap his fingers in the door!
Then hubby suggested going to the allotment (one of my pet hates as nothing for them to do there)and too much for me to have to do as well. I like to ignore its existence - too much like hard work - half an acre of hard ground on a slope, covered in weeds, thistles and stinging nettles. Not my idea of fun, though I do admire hubby's enthusiasm and feel that I should sometimes support him as I will happily eat whatever grows! Not sure that much will as there seems to be evidence of deer or large animals that come through at night and I am sure they ate half of it all last year! So he took M in the car with his prize rotavator and I trudged down the lane with 2 grumpy children!
Eventually got there without too much incident - unlike the time a few weeks ago when I was locked out and went to find hubby. Thinking he would be at the allotment I walked 3 tired and fed up children down the lane with scooters which was bound to end in disaster - and it did. E managed to fall off - I was already in a bad mood so ignored her cries , they were all crying and whining anyway and I have learned to zone out sometimes! - just wanting to get home after finding hubby was not there! It was starting to get cool and I was getting fed up - understatement - I was starting to think of all the things I would do to hubby when I eventually found him!
It was only as time went on that I realised E had actually really hurt herself and was bleeding profusely! (oops - not going to get mother of the year award here then)! But as we were on a lane in the middle of nowhere I had nothing on me to help stop the flow of blood or tears and just felt like crying myself. Just as I was despairing of the fact that I am not the sort of mother to have tissues to hand (unlike my own who had an obsession for them!) , weird bloke from down the road pulled up and quickly jumped to assist me with a hanky! Phew! life improved after that and we all managed to get home. Then I remembered there was a key with a neighbour and was able to gain access back to the house! and plasters! Vowing never to leave the premises again!
At the allotment I worked with hubby putting in onions and potatoes and trying to ignore the cries of "I'm bored" we worked quickly with rake and fork to break up the ground and insert the vegetables into holes. Finally, after an hour we finished. The children were keen to get home so it was an easier walk and we played "I spy" which passed the time. Promising H the bribe of cookies, he was on a mission in his spider wellies to get up the hill without moaning too much!
I keep wanting to put " and they all went home for tea" - a throwback to my Enid Blyton days when every Famous Five book had lengthy descriptions of high tea and high jinks at the farm. That's all I can remember. We had lunch then decided what to do next. It was agreed that it was too windy for the beach, and being BANK HOLIDAY would be too busy down there to park. The local farm - would be okay, apart from the lack of animals but if it rained there was not much to do. Finally decided to drive in the car - which always works as a calmer of children and frayed nerves of parents to a countryside centre with tea rooms and play area - winner!
And we actually managed to have alot of fun. We went to see the birds in a hideout, had a walk and then played in the play area, though it did rain so this was cut short - blessed relief - a tea room with fabulous iced cakes, fudge brownies, scones - I could go on! and on! There were even toys to play with! Hoorah! So hubby and myself swapped a smile over the steaming brews and relaxed - aaaaaahhhhhhhhh
Wednesday 29 April 2009
echoes of the past, moving into the future
I am conscious already that I am not the great writer that I thought I might be! It is not until you try to put words on a page that you realise what a gift it is and how difficult it is. When I read a book it is easy to think "I could write that" but original thought is hard to voice.I know it is within me - in my thoughts and very being - they just need pulling out... maybe it might take some time of blogging to really be able to express myself.
Funny day today, spoke with someone from the past who I was once very close to - I missed her so thought I would ring - but there are problems with our past and the ways we are connected but I want to put things right and want us to move on and be able to drop in for coffee. We will see it's early days! Hopefully it will be a new beginning for us and the start of a new chapter in our lives. It is one of those things that will effect many people as I am from a large extended family and we have had one of those experiences that - like a bomb - has blown us all apart - leaving us all in different places a bit bewildered by events beyond ourselves.
Still no matter what, this person has taught me alot about how to be with children and how to give and receive love - valuable lessons for this life. Just wanted to share that with someone. I have found through her, that it is possible to enjoy children and I am besotted with mine - although not all of the time - that would be abnormal I am sure. I find that I am so proud of their achievements which just makes me a little sad that I was never praised in the same way. They know that we love them without any doubt but I was never sure when I was growing up if this was the case and it is only in recent years that I get it. Some people do not have the capacity to love others though they may do in their own way. Alot is to do with my parents backgrounds and how they were brought up themselves. As I said I think I was lucky to see this person bringing up her children and realising that it could be fun and fulfilling. I think if I had not met her I would have had a different attitude.
I often think these days about the open relationships I have with my girls and boy - just hope it will stay that way and that when they are older we will still have fun gadding about and sharing great times. I sometimes wish I could have had more children just to ensure that I am entertained at all times! Selfish I know but I think children give you so much that having more just means you gain more! They are so loving and happy to please (some of the time) and see things so simply - often a six year old perspective makes me see difficulties in a whole new light! -and the two year old - well an even simpler perspective!I like the way they do not have to worry about things and they can say exactly what they want from you. I love the spontaneity of their hugs and the way their love spills over and touches others.
I am sure everyone whose friends tell them that their children are the nicest ones they have ever met - but many of my friends say this about mine and I choose to believe that they may be right!!! I know that some of the credit is mine! Although the two girls already have their own ideas about what they like and dislike in this life. They adore their brother which is good and will willingly drag him around with them, dressing him up, putting him in their prams with a dummy (which he loves!) and his cuddly blanket.
Funny day today, spoke with someone from the past who I was once very close to - I missed her so thought I would ring - but there are problems with our past and the ways we are connected but I want to put things right and want us to move on and be able to drop in for coffee. We will see it's early days! Hopefully it will be a new beginning for us and the start of a new chapter in our lives. It is one of those things that will effect many people as I am from a large extended family and we have had one of those experiences that - like a bomb - has blown us all apart - leaving us all in different places a bit bewildered by events beyond ourselves.
Still no matter what, this person has taught me alot about how to be with children and how to give and receive love - valuable lessons for this life. Just wanted to share that with someone. I have found through her, that it is possible to enjoy children and I am besotted with mine - although not all of the time - that would be abnormal I am sure. I find that I am so proud of their achievements which just makes me a little sad that I was never praised in the same way. They know that we love them without any doubt but I was never sure when I was growing up if this was the case and it is only in recent years that I get it. Some people do not have the capacity to love others though they may do in their own way. Alot is to do with my parents backgrounds and how they were brought up themselves. As I said I think I was lucky to see this person bringing up her children and realising that it could be fun and fulfilling. I think if I had not met her I would have had a different attitude.
I often think these days about the open relationships I have with my girls and boy - just hope it will stay that way and that when they are older we will still have fun gadding about and sharing great times. I sometimes wish I could have had more children just to ensure that I am entertained at all times! Selfish I know but I think children give you so much that having more just means you gain more! They are so loving and happy to please (some of the time) and see things so simply - often a six year old perspective makes me see difficulties in a whole new light! -and the two year old - well an even simpler perspective!I like the way they do not have to worry about things and they can say exactly what they want from you. I love the spontaneity of their hugs and the way their love spills over and touches others.
I am sure everyone whose friends tell them that their children are the nicest ones they have ever met - but many of my friends say this about mine and I choose to believe that they may be right!!! I know that some of the credit is mine! Although the two girls already have their own ideas about what they like and dislike in this life. They adore their brother which is good and will willingly drag him around with them, dressing him up, putting him in their prams with a dummy (which he loves!) and his cuddly blanket.
Sunday 26 April 2009
Well today I have had a very productive and fun time! It involved eating croissants outside with strawberry jam and a latte with the whole family in the sunshine - a rare event! We had our neighbours children over to play for a while so was able to get on and do some - decorating!
Hooray the first time I have had the inclination since the birth of H ! So over 2 yrs!! Our kitchen for so long has been painted nearly to the end of it but I obviously got bored or ran out of paint because the area where the kettle is completely bare, devoid of colour - it looks so much better - can't believe I didn't do it earlier. Whilst I was doing the painting, hubby decided to join in and starting pulling nails out of a piece of old wood - "what are you doing?" I asked "This is the old architrive". Once he has sanded the piece of old wood, I realise that it is a missing piece of the doorway that I had not missed in the past 3 years but now it is there it looks as if it belongs. Funny that. There is much more work to do but at least now we have made a start! It somehow seems more do able again!
It has been a lovely day though and I have positively enjoyed being with hubby and working on our house which has been neglected since the advent of children in general. It is hard to pick up a paintbrush because as soon as you do you start to hear a fight breaking out or they want you to get something or as today "mummy H is messing up my game!!!" shrieked in a high pitched whiney voice by M. E is just singing at the top of her voice as she does when happy with her little life - we know when she is not happy - queen of strops!
Hooray the first time I have had the inclination since the birth of H ! So over 2 yrs!! Our kitchen for so long has been painted nearly to the end of it but I obviously got bored or ran out of paint because the area where the kettle is completely bare, devoid of colour - it looks so much better - can't believe I didn't do it earlier. Whilst I was doing the painting, hubby decided to join in and starting pulling nails out of a piece of old wood - "what are you doing?" I asked "This is the old architrive". Once he has sanded the piece of old wood, I realise that it is a missing piece of the doorway that I had not missed in the past 3 years but now it is there it looks as if it belongs. Funny that. There is much more work to do but at least now we have made a start! It somehow seems more do able again!
It has been a lovely day though and I have positively enjoyed being with hubby and working on our house which has been neglected since the advent of children in general. It is hard to pick up a paintbrush because as soon as you do you start to hear a fight breaking out or they want you to get something or as today "mummy H is messing up my game!!!" shrieked in a high pitched whiney voice by M. E is just singing at the top of her voice as she does when happy with her little life - we know when she is not happy - queen of strops!
Friday 24 April 2009
Days at home
Well here we are again and I am heartened by the fact that in the beginning of my two favourite bloggers that they had no comments either! There is hope! My very favourite ones are "A mother's place is in the wrong" "Family Affairs" "Reluctant Memsahib" and "Flower fairies and fairy cakes" All excellent insights into other women's lives. Could do with reading some male ones then I might begin to understand how men see things??
I have spent the last couple of days off sick from work and realised how difficult the parenting thing is when you are below par! They have absolutely no comprehension of your needs and wants and will just demand their own. Yesterday was not so bad as all 3 children went to school/ child minder so I managed a few hours in bed recovering from a night of very frequent visits to the toilet! Consequently no sleep for either of us then H woke at 5am which he never does normally demanding milk which is a very bad habit that we have got into to make him stay in bed a bit longer. I was never able to get up with the girls until at least 7 am and luckily they used to sleep until nearer 8 am. H though from day 1 has been a 6 am child so our way of managing him is to give him warm milk - necessary for our sanity! I dread the day when he can get out of his cot! He is such a fidget in bed - you cannot lie and cuddle - the peace as we know it will be over!
I managed to catch up on sleep and picked the girls up from school at 5 pm where M proceeded to run towards me as she always does screaming "mummy" which is always heart warming after a day at work or a day at home feeling unwell and sorry for oneself! Unfortunately she twisted her ankle whilst running so ended up in tears and I had to carry her in my fragile state to the car. E carried her book bag and coat but kept dropping it on the playground! So I had to keep putting M down to pick things up but did eventually get to the car! Then picked up the boy and got home phew!! M wouldn't weight bear and was obviously in pain so she was nursed on the sofa until bedtime. Finally got all 3 to bed and went myself without any tea - still in too fragile a state. Husband was home late -after all the children were sorted out!
Today, got up, somehow managed to spend the day at home with all 3 children! One had red cheeks and kept saying she had "slap the cheeks" and M wouldn't walk and cried everytime I suggested school. There seemed little point in sending the boy and a good way to save a bit of money so kept him off too! Remembering too late that he was meant to be at nursery and we could have had 3 hrs peace and quiet! Ended up clearing up remnants of breakfast at least 3 times as they were hungry this morning! Then decided to do the grown up thing and take M to casualty for a check up! Went with visions of spending the night on the children's ward . Anyway all was well she was signed off as having a probable sprain although ever since this time she has crawled around the house including outside but it seems a little better.
On the plus side, the weather has been gorgeous and though I was too unwell to appreciate it yesterday, I fully appreciated it today and managed to spend at least an hour on my bench reading a book. I love reading - especially girlie trashy novels - chic lit - I have a swapping service with one of my friends - I'll call her D. She shares my love of girlie lit and we devour it between visits to one another and swap each time. I love her visits - she is great at girlie - cakes :carrot , white choc /raspberry , DVD's Sex and the City, Desperate Housewives, ER. She always has a new fad and we nearly always have to watch the latest chic flick when I visit her which I always look forward to.
Anyway I can feel gurgling starting in my belly so will sign off now! The children are all still up so I think I will get them to bed then settle to watch something mindless on TV. Adios!
I have spent the last couple of days off sick from work and realised how difficult the parenting thing is when you are below par! They have absolutely no comprehension of your needs and wants and will just demand their own. Yesterday was not so bad as all 3 children went to school/ child minder so I managed a few hours in bed recovering from a night of very frequent visits to the toilet! Consequently no sleep for either of us then H woke at 5am which he never does normally demanding milk which is a very bad habit that we have got into to make him stay in bed a bit longer. I was never able to get up with the girls until at least 7 am and luckily they used to sleep until nearer 8 am. H though from day 1 has been a 6 am child so our way of managing him is to give him warm milk - necessary for our sanity! I dread the day when he can get out of his cot! He is such a fidget in bed - you cannot lie and cuddle - the peace as we know it will be over!
I managed to catch up on sleep and picked the girls up from school at 5 pm where M proceeded to run towards me as she always does screaming "mummy" which is always heart warming after a day at work or a day at home feeling unwell and sorry for oneself! Unfortunately she twisted her ankle whilst running so ended up in tears and I had to carry her in my fragile state to the car. E carried her book bag and coat but kept dropping it on the playground! So I had to keep putting M down to pick things up but did eventually get to the car! Then picked up the boy and got home phew!! M wouldn't weight bear and was obviously in pain so she was nursed on the sofa until bedtime. Finally got all 3 to bed and went myself without any tea - still in too fragile a state. Husband was home late -after all the children were sorted out!
Today, got up, somehow managed to spend the day at home with all 3 children! One had red cheeks and kept saying she had "slap the cheeks" and M wouldn't walk and cried everytime I suggested school. There seemed little point in sending the boy and a good way to save a bit of money so kept him off too! Remembering too late that he was meant to be at nursery and we could have had 3 hrs peace and quiet! Ended up clearing up remnants of breakfast at least 3 times as they were hungry this morning! Then decided to do the grown up thing and take M to casualty for a check up! Went with visions of spending the night on the children's ward . Anyway all was well she was signed off as having a probable sprain although ever since this time she has crawled around the house including outside but it seems a little better.
On the plus side, the weather has been gorgeous and though I was too unwell to appreciate it yesterday, I fully appreciated it today and managed to spend at least an hour on my bench reading a book. I love reading - especially girlie trashy novels - chic lit - I have a swapping service with one of my friends - I'll call her D. She shares my love of girlie lit and we devour it between visits to one another and swap each time. I love her visits - she is great at girlie - cakes :carrot , white choc /raspberry , DVD's Sex and the City, Desperate Housewives, ER. She always has a new fad and we nearly always have to watch the latest chic flick when I visit her which I always look forward to.
Anyway I can feel gurgling starting in my belly so will sign off now! The children are all still up so I think I will get them to bed then settle to watch something mindless on TV. Adios!
Thursday 16 April 2009
Trip to the other side
Well here I am again! Not fallen at the first hurdle although it did take me several attempts to find my blog again! Was quite disappointed that there were several Mellymoo's doing blogs online but then I suppose there are thousands out there. I have only just discovered blogging - what a fantastic thing, especially if you are extremely nosy like myself!!! I didn't realise how many there were out there. All people with the same thoughts as me - all different lives. It seems now that I am finding friends in cyber space! It is particularly nice for me to meet - when I say meet obviously I mean reading their blog - others who have left their homeland and have no friends where they are. That is no longer the case here in the freezing north (cold and misty today) and I now have a number of great friends on the doorstep but it took about 3 years until this was the case. So to any of you in that position - it will get better!
Have to tell you a bit about me - I am 42 years old - maybe approaching midlife crisis hence the desire to air my dirty washing in public!! I have 3 gorgeous children - and a very lovely though grumpy husband - we'll just call him the grump! Although I do still remember the man I fell madly in love with in a club in Manchester and sometimes I am convinced he might be the same person! Sometimes not!
I am a nurse, which I mostly love tho my enthusiasm has waned of late. I have worked all over the country in the same role but this has to be the most challenging job so far. I do harbour a secret desire to write a book but I see I am not the first blogger to have this idea so I think I will just do it for fun!
I have just spent the past 11 days in the south. As you may have gathered I am based up in Yorkshire - and a bit like the "Reluctant Memsahib" I am a reluctant northerner! I have lived in the North now for nearly as long as the south so that argument seems to hold less and less water! Coupled with the fact that when I say I don't like being here I get told, rightly that it was my decision to do so and I just have to get on with it! He on the other hand is like a pig in muck! Quite literally as he has an allotment and a penchant for growing onions! Still it is true to say that now it would be a tough choice between the two - some of the best people are up here and no matter where we lived I think I would feel I was missing something!
The past week or so has been all the sweeter as it is such a treat - we have been all over the place. My mum and brother live on the south coast which I love visiting. We get made a big fuss of and get lots of help which is not so forthcoming at home .I stayed with the my lovely girlie friend who can only be described as gorgeous, girlie, fun - you get the picture - stayed in her flat for a couple of nights and got to try on all her shoes - as did the children- for hours in fact! We supped wine and caught up - even managed to get out for a curry thanks to her flatmate .
Then we descended on my mother who had my brother staying he is always available to us when we visit - dropping everything. We have some great times together and he loves visiting the north too which is good. I managed to sneak away to play with my london friend in Brighton for a few hours which was so great! Funny I used to do it pre children and get bored with shopping, eating out, catching up! Now it is just the best thing ever!
I managed to buy shoes within about 20 mins of arrival and then went to one other shop and bought clothes - spending nearly £200 in about 30 mins! Told my friend to stop me spending any more - it used to take me a week to spend so much! Funny that it happens so quickly now but I guess I have become used to not shopping much - not great choices where we live! and used to shopping fast before the children get restless and start complaining! Thank goodness for ebay and online shopping otherwise my shopping would be non existent. We do have good shops at York, Leeds, Hull but getting there is such a trek I usually can't be bothered! I am used to it all being closeby and find that by the time I get to these places that I have lost the urge to shop! I think it might be coming back tho!
So that was Monday. Tuesday I - (when I say I it usually means with children in tow! )spent some time with a lovely gay couple, one of whom I carried a candle for many years - obviously until I realised he was more of a man's man! We have recently rekindled our friendship after 19 years of not seeing one another. It is lovely to see him again - a real gent - as is his partner. We spent the day in Eastbourne tho it was not too sunny and there were too many expensive children's areas for my liking and not enough tea shops! We ended up in an italian for lunch and on beachy head in the pub for drinks and a catch up. We could feel the sun inside without the accompanying breeze.
Wed - we took the children to a farm near Lewes and spent a very enjoyable day feeding lambs and all the accompanying activities that being on a farm/play area entails. A great day out with both brothers and mum. Love days like that - great to look back on. The rest of the week we went on various excursions culminating in spending sat at the continental market in Shoreham - oh the excitement!
I then left after Easter to see another friend whom I trained with in Manchester - she lives in Surrey and has two boisterous boys who are hard work but great fun. I remember her so well as a single girlie and we spent many a drunken night together but I think I prefer the mummy version who is so much softer and content with herself. She is ensconced in the country in her country pile as I like to call it not far from anything and I envy her for having such close proximity to my friends and family - and of course the shops, restaurants etc. It buzzes where she lives, the streets full of people and cars - my husband would say too busy, overcrowded - don't I prefer the quiet of our village without shops, hustle and bustle? No I prefer the busyness of towns and always will. Still I find I can dip in and out of it on a regular basis and retreat to the quiet of my countryside where there is no A3 running past it and I guess there is something to be said for being able to hear nothing but seagulls.
Now I am home after the 8 hr journey where we had to stop for ice creams, dinner, toilet breaks. ~We finally got home at 10pm! The relief ! Walking through my front door into my calm, cleaned house (cleaner came twice whilst I was away!) Unloaded the car whilst the children slept on then transferred each one in turn until the tranfer from car to bed was complete. Lovely to see the grumpy husband too - he seemed better looking and funnier than I remembered!
Have to tell you a bit about me - I am 42 years old - maybe approaching midlife crisis hence the desire to air my dirty washing in public!! I have 3 gorgeous children - and a very lovely though grumpy husband - we'll just call him the grump! Although I do still remember the man I fell madly in love with in a club in Manchester and sometimes I am convinced he might be the same person! Sometimes not!
I am a nurse, which I mostly love tho my enthusiasm has waned of late. I have worked all over the country in the same role but this has to be the most challenging job so far. I do harbour a secret desire to write a book but I see I am not the first blogger to have this idea so I think I will just do it for fun!
I have just spent the past 11 days in the south. As you may have gathered I am based up in Yorkshire - and a bit like the "Reluctant Memsahib" I am a reluctant northerner! I have lived in the North now for nearly as long as the south so that argument seems to hold less and less water! Coupled with the fact that when I say I don't like being here I get told, rightly that it was my decision to do so and I just have to get on with it! He on the other hand is like a pig in muck! Quite literally as he has an allotment and a penchant for growing onions! Still it is true to say that now it would be a tough choice between the two - some of the best people are up here and no matter where we lived I think I would feel I was missing something!
The past week or so has been all the sweeter as it is such a treat - we have been all over the place. My mum and brother live on the south coast which I love visiting. We get made a big fuss of and get lots of help which is not so forthcoming at home .I stayed with the my lovely girlie friend who can only be described as gorgeous, girlie, fun - you get the picture - stayed in her flat for a couple of nights and got to try on all her shoes - as did the children- for hours in fact! We supped wine and caught up - even managed to get out for a curry thanks to her flatmate .
Then we descended on my mother who had my brother staying he is always available to us when we visit - dropping everything. We have some great times together and he loves visiting the north too which is good. I managed to sneak away to play with my london friend in Brighton for a few hours which was so great! Funny I used to do it pre children and get bored with shopping, eating out, catching up! Now it is just the best thing ever!
I managed to buy shoes within about 20 mins of arrival and then went to one other shop and bought clothes - spending nearly £200 in about 30 mins! Told my friend to stop me spending any more - it used to take me a week to spend so much! Funny that it happens so quickly now but I guess I have become used to not shopping much - not great choices where we live! and used to shopping fast before the children get restless and start complaining! Thank goodness for ebay and online shopping otherwise my shopping would be non existent. We do have good shops at York, Leeds, Hull but getting there is such a trek I usually can't be bothered! I am used to it all being closeby and find that by the time I get to these places that I have lost the urge to shop! I think it might be coming back tho!
So that was Monday. Tuesday I - (when I say I it usually means with children in tow! )spent some time with a lovely gay couple, one of whom I carried a candle for many years - obviously until I realised he was more of a man's man! We have recently rekindled our friendship after 19 years of not seeing one another. It is lovely to see him again - a real gent - as is his partner. We spent the day in Eastbourne tho it was not too sunny and there were too many expensive children's areas for my liking and not enough tea shops! We ended up in an italian for lunch and on beachy head in the pub for drinks and a catch up. We could feel the sun inside without the accompanying breeze.
Wed - we took the children to a farm near Lewes and spent a very enjoyable day feeding lambs and all the accompanying activities that being on a farm/play area entails. A great day out with both brothers and mum. Love days like that - great to look back on. The rest of the week we went on various excursions culminating in spending sat at the continental market in Shoreham - oh the excitement!
I then left after Easter to see another friend whom I trained with in Manchester - she lives in Surrey and has two boisterous boys who are hard work but great fun. I remember her so well as a single girlie and we spent many a drunken night together but I think I prefer the mummy version who is so much softer and content with herself. She is ensconced in the country in her country pile as I like to call it not far from anything and I envy her for having such close proximity to my friends and family - and of course the shops, restaurants etc. It buzzes where she lives, the streets full of people and cars - my husband would say too busy, overcrowded - don't I prefer the quiet of our village without shops, hustle and bustle? No I prefer the busyness of towns and always will. Still I find I can dip in and out of it on a regular basis and retreat to the quiet of my countryside where there is no A3 running past it and I guess there is something to be said for being able to hear nothing but seagulls.
Now I am home after the 8 hr journey where we had to stop for ice creams, dinner, toilet breaks. ~We finally got home at 10pm! The relief ! Walking through my front door into my calm, cleaned house (cleaner came twice whilst I was away!) Unloaded the car whilst the children slept on then transferred each one in turn until the tranfer from car to bed was complete. Lovely to see the grumpy husband too - he seemed better looking and funnier than I remembered!
Saturday 11 April 2009
Ok - this is the start of my life as a blogger! Not a blagger - tho I have been known to in the past, especially to men in clubs when telling them I put the jam into jammy dodgers! Amongst other jobs that are too rude to mention here! You will note that I like exclamation marks alot!!!
I am hoping that I will learn about other people and their lives when I do this. I hope there will be interesting insights into life in general and particularly my life with children and living in the North. No it is not a copy of "Wife in the North" I would never profess to being a writer but it is the fulfillment of part of a dream of mine to get published and find an undiscovered talent but doubtless the way that I think is probably the way we all think and I will find that my insights are not unique. I have always wanted to write and be heard but despite pages of journals in my youth I have never done anything about it. I think before I read any chick -lit I thought in much the same ways and was quite disappointed that I didn't get there first!
Oh well this is my life - not made up - still not sure whether it will be interesting or not., though i won't promise not to exaggerate things to make it more readable! Have read several blogs that are interesting to me so maybe this will appeal to someone out there. If not it will be a way to find out if what I think and feel is amusing to read or not.
My dream would be to work from home and write fulltime - obviously combined with playing with children, painting the house, endless cups of coffee and walks with the dog! (Yet to get the dog!)Have seen a very cute one tho - black and white terrier at a local farm. Very tempting to get one but have never owned a pet and not sure if I would know what to do with one! Like the idea of walks in the rain and on the beach and have misty eyed future feelings of seeing the children running with him and throwing driftwood...... I will have to consider it long and hard, particularly as my husband says that as I want him I would have to do the walking etc etc! Not sure I am up for that!
I am known to take off at a moments notice to see friends - obviously that is after the obligatory loading up of toys, clothes, books, shoes, bedding into the car, then the children, their drinks, snacks, sweets etc etc. What it all does to spontaneity eh? I used to take off at a moments notice now it takes me hours! Then you set off on a journey - shortest being an hour to see friends - longest about 7 hours to Grandma's and have to stop after an hour for them to wee ! How I ever get anywhere I really don't know! Still I do still manage to travel about the country, catching up with friends and family
I am hoping that I will learn about other people and their lives when I do this. I hope there will be interesting insights into life in general and particularly my life with children and living in the North. No it is not a copy of "Wife in the North" I would never profess to being a writer but it is the fulfillment of part of a dream of mine to get published and find an undiscovered talent but doubtless the way that I think is probably the way we all think and I will find that my insights are not unique. I have always wanted to write and be heard but despite pages of journals in my youth I have never done anything about it. I think before I read any chick -lit I thought in much the same ways and was quite disappointed that I didn't get there first!
Oh well this is my life - not made up - still not sure whether it will be interesting or not., though i won't promise not to exaggerate things to make it more readable! Have read several blogs that are interesting to me so maybe this will appeal to someone out there. If not it will be a way to find out if what I think and feel is amusing to read or not.
My dream would be to work from home and write fulltime - obviously combined with playing with children, painting the house, endless cups of coffee and walks with the dog! (Yet to get the dog!)Have seen a very cute one tho - black and white terrier at a local farm. Very tempting to get one but have never owned a pet and not sure if I would know what to do with one! Like the idea of walks in the rain and on the beach and have misty eyed future feelings of seeing the children running with him and throwing driftwood...... I will have to consider it long and hard, particularly as my husband says that as I want him I would have to do the walking etc etc! Not sure I am up for that!
I am known to take off at a moments notice to see friends - obviously that is after the obligatory loading up of toys, clothes, books, shoes, bedding into the car, then the children, their drinks, snacks, sweets etc etc. What it all does to spontaneity eh? I used to take off at a moments notice now it takes me hours! Then you set off on a journey - shortest being an hour to see friends - longest about 7 hours to Grandma's and have to stop after an hour for them to wee ! How I ever get anywhere I really don't know! Still I do still manage to travel about the country, catching up with friends and family
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