I must stop starting my blog with "so here we are again" and start to be original! I think so many of my thoughts and feelings are just like other people's but there is that part of me that thinks surely not everyone on these blogs is happy ALL of the time? Are they? I admit it I feel slightly unhappy - I feel quite unwell which I have been for some time but admittedly not all of the time. This involves me having swellings in areas like neck and under arms, feeling generally cross and out of sorts (love that phrase) and cannot be quite bothered to do anything at all! If anyone knows me they will know that is not usual! I do love to eat, shop and drink out and today is a totally child free one so no excuse to be lying around in the house feeling cold and sorry for one's self!
Just about to indulge in some frothy coffee but whereas I would normally have already had it as I am (1) at home (2) without children - so no distractions or demands (3) have been in since about 1000 and it is now nearly 1200. In fact it will be time to go and get all the various children from places in 3 hours! Where does the time go to? Today I just cannot be bothered to drag myself up and out to the kitchen. Tomorrow I have made an appointment to see the GP - again not usual for me - tend to wait ages which I have done for the symptoms to go away - they still have not gone! Torn between wanting to have good symptoms so as to be an interesting case but not with anything too bad and wanting to feel well again.
I think from writing this blog I do feel more inspired to write in general. Not sure what the subject matter should be yet! Could do this sitting around indoors, listening to Elbow on spotify whilst typing my thoughts. I think one day I could have a best seller!
I keep thinking I might have fallen into the wrong hands in life and wondering if I had made some different choices along the way whether I would be happier?? What if I had gone to uni and done some arty farty degree and gone saving the world and was out there still eating rice and unleavened bread (I don't know what they do out there really). I had the opportunity years ago to go and visit a friend working for VSO then Medicines sans frontieres but was too much of a coward to do it! It scares me all the war torn places and unfamiliar territories. I think it taught me something that although for years I had planned to do these scarey things that maybe at heart I am more of a home maker than I think.
The other weekend I went to Manchester with hubby to watch Elbow and have some fun in the big city! Where we live is fairly unexciting and you would have to venture a couple of miles to have any real fun! Unless you count the fun you have at home and with the neighbours! It was great - I loved being so near to all that life and vibrancy. We stayed in the Palace hotel and I was always fascinated by the art cafe and theatres which were next door. We did have a great time but it was not long enough and I said to hubby that I sometimes wonder if we should have stayed where there was more going on. I miss the shopping and cafe culture - not quite the same with Mackays and the little cafes in whitby. I have become quite adept and finding good clothes on the internet and in town - there are a few places that sell up to date trendy clothes. Not many though!
These days I never seem to have the time to just soak up atmospheres, be an observer of others whilst chilling out. This weekend I was able to do some of that and I realised that I do miss it. I plan some more city type breaks now and a few meetings with mates that live a long way away. One such mate, in Leicestershire has already started planning where we will stay and what we will do. In the meantime I will just enjoy the peace and tranquillity of the life in the countryside with the cows !
No comments:
Post a Comment