Well what a week it has been! Has been mixed with pleasure and pain - mainly daughter's pain which is harder than own to go through. Spent a very pleasurable weekend with mum and brother which was just perfect. I love entertaining and having people to stay, so was in my element! Although I do note that the sugar and coffee supplies diminish faster than I can replenish them! But ABSOLUTELY worth it all. They arrived on the friday and left on monday so lots of time to sun in the garden, visit the forest, have a BBQ, catch up on the gossip and generally sup wine and have fun.
Monday dawned very early as I was worried about impending surgery and wanted to get the most of the time left with brother and mum , although mum did not rise until alot later! I let her off though as she was very good one night, talking to H at 1 am and sorting him out - so can't be too critical! Spent some time putting world to rights and lots of coffee and chats with bro as preparing to go to hospital with E the next day which I was not looking forward to. Eventually they had to leave and E and I left for York to stay with a friend before going on to the hospital.
We actually had a lovely time with our friends and rose early, despite the rose wine! Did not get alot of sleep and read until the early hours but woke early enough to drive to the hospital in good time. We had to be there for 7.30 to go to theatre about 9.00. There seemed to be alot of hanging out in the playroom with few toys and books but E did some colouring and it was a good distraction for us both. Eventually though we were called to put E into pyjamas and walked to the theatre which is so different to how things were when I trained to be a nurse (20 yrs ago!)
It was a relaxed induction into anaesthesia and I left as she fell asleep. It was nerve wracking because we did not really know what she would need doing but she had been having problems with severe tummy aches for over a year so we felt something needed sorting out. She was gone for nearly 4 hrs. I managed to drink lots of coffee, have frantic phone call from hubby who was very lost and threatening to turn around to go home, have other calls and messages from friends and brother but the time passed slowly......... I kept going back to the ward for progress reports but none were available and the staff were not keen to try to reassure me by ringing down to see how things were going. Again I would have tried everything to reassure anxious parents but instead I just felt like I was in the way and went back to the canteen to brood longer over my daughter's fate and how it was all somehow my fault that she was in there.
Eventually we did get to go and see her in the recovery and the relief was immense. We had a prior visit from the surgeon who gave us a positive progress report and said that all had gone well. She had key hole surgery which had just left 3 holes - no stitches or large openings which I was dreading. If she had been in alot of pain I would not have been able to bear it for her but luckily I didn't have to. She was fast asleep in recovery and would not wake but the recovery nurse said she had been and could go back to her bed on the ward.
It was not long before she woke up and gave us a frown then a smile - if you know her that is just how she is! Was so relieved - let hubby off to get a sandwich then drive home again to collect others. This was the start of my time in solitary ,where I was only spoken to at handover times and treated as a nuisance if I wanted anything else. Although the nurses were lovely - just misinformed. They need to realise that being busy doing "nursey" stuff is not what it is all about - you need to spend time getting to know your patients - then you can be more effective in your caring. That first evening I managed to pull her drip out so we had a bit of a blood bath whilst trying to change her bed after a huge wee which I was mortified by - being a nurse who should know better! However, I did feel that maybe she was having too much fluid being as she was swimming in it! Probably did her a favour and at least she did not get a swollen hand which she did last time she was in. All in all probably not the worst thing I could have done!
Luckily the ward was situated next to the new and funky cafeteria - hugely expensive but with comfy chairs and Latte which is a must when in stressful situations! Thank goodness too for my friend who visited daily as she was working there in the hospital - it just kept me sane and gave me someone to off load onto (being as the nurses were totally disinterested!) I had thought I would be able to regale them with tales from my nursing and that they would look on with admiration and in awe of all my years experience but I was robbed of this opportunity and subject to complete indifference, worse - disinterest - the worst thing! I guess it serves me right for trying to dine out on my daughter's misfortunes but I know that years ago the nurse looking after us would have made it her business to know the ins and outs of our lives. It was a lonely time, being far from home and with little support - a friendly word would have gone a long way.
My friend and I thought we would test the nurses and their curiosity by planting some books that she had given me for work which could only mean I was something in nursing - but even this little taster was met with no interest whatsoever! I was relishing telling them that I was a sister but just did not get the opportunity to air this knowledge! The disinterest was at such a height that the nurse looking after us did not even check E's wound before discharge or give me any information about caring for her once home. I think possibly it was a very busy ward but I do think the time that they had could have been better spent speaking to their charges rather than sitting at the desk.
Anyway huge gratitude and relief that I have my gorgeous girl home, fairly intact and seemingly pain free - and I guess for that reason I will probably just be pathetically grateful and not express my extreme disatisfaction.................................................................................................
Saturday 30 May 2009
Friday 15 May 2009
A day in the life of
Well today has been a challenge. A day in the life of "me". Starts with hubby at 5.50 and his alarm which sounds like a choir of Africans singing - not the most relaxing of alarms, although pleasant in its' own way. Managed to fall asleep until about 6.45 when H woke as he does, demanding milk "mummy milk" he chants until I get up to make it - or as I did the other day told him to be quiet and when he was then I would make it! Worked like a dream - managed at least another half hour! Anyway I have found that school days are less stressful if I start them earlier so I got up.
The days also start better if H has his milk and is in a good mood! Then tackled the girls who both wanted me to dress them and moaned about doing their own socks! Eventually got dressed myself and dressed H. Found some pleasure in wearing normal clothes and not work garb so felt in quite a good mood.
Downstairs - having to hold H hand all the way whilst juggling nappy, bottle and cups in the other " I want hold your hand mummy - pppleeeassseee" How can you resist? Anyway on goes the radio - blaring out sounds of the here and now - having been instructed by M to turn it up loader! Then the breakfast orders start - E wanted the cereal I had yesterday with milk, M wanted granola but with milk not her usual yoghurt! H wanted granola with yoghurt but eyed his sisters with suspicion. Finally got own breakfast despite being asked to then furnish them all with juice and various other requests.
Off to school then - well via the GP as E has a chesty cough and is having some surgery in a couple of weeks and I don't want it to be cancelled. So we wait and wait and wait. Finally get out of there and just make school in time. Then drop off H at nursery where he goes on a friday , then back to GP for antibiotics, then home! Phew!
See friend unloading toddler from her car in the pouring rain - toy with the idea of dropping in for coffee and a chat but decide to have some very indulgent "Me time" and watch "27 dresses" which I absolutely loved - so girlie - fabulous! By the time it ends I am nearly late picking up H and seem to have achieved very little, but it has given me some space in this mad life that we live and that is a rare and precious thing.
Bring H home and do a few chores then have lunch which is left overs from the night before which we enjoy along with crisps and other bits and pieces. H says he is tired so manage to settle him in front of TV for about 30 mins with warm milk - well he's tired and think he might sleep. Then before you know it - it's time to collect the girls again!
Once we have collected them we go as a treat to get some sweets then drive home. We are home about 10 mins which is long enough to locate E's latest glasses prescription and we are off again - this time into town. We choose new glasses, have a fitting and drive home again. Get in and throw fish fingers and healthy chips into the oven, bath H , well shove him in the bath and drink tea whilst half listening to his questions about all things bath-related . Then hubby gets home so leave H to splash and swim to catch up with him. Get H out of bath and into pyjamas - feed all 3 - shouting that the girls only have 20 mins to eat it before we have to go out AGAIN!
Finally they finish and we set off for bingo at their school and arrive with a minute to spare. Do required time at bingo - pour cups of tea and wash up enough to be thought helpful! When I return from helping there is only 1/2 cup of tea and 1/4 egg sandwich left. E gives me half her sausage roll which I am touched by. Eventually get to leave having not won anything with two upset children who knew what prizes they wanted and did not get!
Get home and RELAX - well after shouting at them again to get their pyjamas on, have some more to eat and finally get into bed. Have a bath and read book (longterm favourite pastimes) with a cup of tea and hot cross bun (odd I know!) E comes to visit at least half a dozen times before they eventually settle and go to sleep.
Go downstairs, hubby is asleep. Now on computer and he is snoring gently next to me!
The days also start better if H has his milk and is in a good mood! Then tackled the girls who both wanted me to dress them and moaned about doing their own socks! Eventually got dressed myself and dressed H. Found some pleasure in wearing normal clothes and not work garb so felt in quite a good mood.
Downstairs - having to hold H hand all the way whilst juggling nappy, bottle and cups in the other " I want hold your hand mummy - pppleeeassseee" How can you resist? Anyway on goes the radio - blaring out sounds of the here and now - having been instructed by M to turn it up loader! Then the breakfast orders start - E wanted the cereal I had yesterday with milk, M wanted granola but with milk not her usual yoghurt! H wanted granola with yoghurt but eyed his sisters with suspicion. Finally got own breakfast despite being asked to then furnish them all with juice and various other requests.
Off to school then - well via the GP as E has a chesty cough and is having some surgery in a couple of weeks and I don't want it to be cancelled. So we wait and wait and wait. Finally get out of there and just make school in time. Then drop off H at nursery where he goes on a friday , then back to GP for antibiotics, then home! Phew!
See friend unloading toddler from her car in the pouring rain - toy with the idea of dropping in for coffee and a chat but decide to have some very indulgent "Me time" and watch "27 dresses" which I absolutely loved - so girlie - fabulous! By the time it ends I am nearly late picking up H and seem to have achieved very little, but it has given me some space in this mad life that we live and that is a rare and precious thing.
Bring H home and do a few chores then have lunch which is left overs from the night before which we enjoy along with crisps and other bits and pieces. H says he is tired so manage to settle him in front of TV for about 30 mins with warm milk - well he's tired and think he might sleep. Then before you know it - it's time to collect the girls again!
Once we have collected them we go as a treat to get some sweets then drive home. We are home about 10 mins which is long enough to locate E's latest glasses prescription and we are off again - this time into town. We choose new glasses, have a fitting and drive home again. Get in and throw fish fingers and healthy chips into the oven, bath H , well shove him in the bath and drink tea whilst half listening to his questions about all things bath-related . Then hubby gets home so leave H to splash and swim to catch up with him. Get H out of bath and into pyjamas - feed all 3 - shouting that the girls only have 20 mins to eat it before we have to go out AGAIN!
Finally they finish and we set off for bingo at their school and arrive with a minute to spare. Do required time at bingo - pour cups of tea and wash up enough to be thought helpful! When I return from helping there is only 1/2 cup of tea and 1/4 egg sandwich left. E gives me half her sausage roll which I am touched by. Eventually get to leave having not won anything with two upset children who knew what prizes they wanted and did not get!
Get home and RELAX - well after shouting at them again to get their pyjamas on, have some more to eat and finally get into bed. Have a bath and read book (longterm favourite pastimes) with a cup of tea and hot cross bun (odd I know!) E comes to visit at least half a dozen times before they eventually settle and go to sleep.
Go downstairs, hubby is asleep. Now on computer and he is snoring gently next to me!
Monday 4 May 2009
bank holiday madness
Well ,here we are again and we have survived the BANK HOLIDAY - there is soooo much pressure to have a good time! we have struggled - my hubby and I this weekend to entertain the 3 children and not lose it too much with them! There have been moments of melt down when children have been sent to their bedroom to "think about it" and unfortunately, looking back I have not been the calm, serene parent that I think I should be. However , we have survived it and looking back it has been a great day!
I surfaced late today which was a real luxury - hubby got the milk this morning - that is a fairly rare event because he is better at ignoring our small boy than I am. Usually it is me with alot of attitude (and I wonder where the girls get it from!) Stomp, stomp, stomp down the stairs - click the kettle on - always a must if in the vicinity of the kettle! Even if I don't want a drink, I always like to put the kettle on - just in case! Anyway today I was able to languish in my bed just a bit longer than usual and without a hangover too! Did get out of bed because I do like a nice cuppa when there and hubby had only done the milk part so I managed to make breakfast for 2 of the children then snuck back to bed! Heaven!!
I love a good read so, avoiding the amorous advances of hubby, I managed to read a few chapters and although I could hear the drone of cbeebies downstairs I was able to give myself some time and space - much needed to start the day! Anyway back to the BANK HOLIDAY! Eventually I managed to drag myself out of bed - enticed by a latte made by hubby - that's another thing whilst on the subject why oh why is it so difficult for me to get dressed in the morning??? I can get out of bed but it can take me hours to actually put some clothes on! Is this a usual state of affairs?? It seems to be getting worse as I get older! Any way eventually committed myself to the actual getting dressed act and after that I am ready for anything!
Paddled downstairs, just a turn of phrase , did not actually paddle. The children were in various states, some breakfasted, some half dressed, playing games, watching TV. As soon as I landed it seemed that the arguing started! There was a fight over doggies, one over dog beds and blankets etc etc. Children went into the garden but it was too cold so they came back in again. The weather was that horrible in between stage - sunny but too windy - which meant that the children were unable to go outside but not happy inside so kept going in and out! Causing me to have to keep getting up and down to ensure that H did not trap his fingers in the door!
Then hubby suggested going to the allotment (one of my pet hates as nothing for them to do there)and too much for me to have to do as well. I like to ignore its existence - too much like hard work - half an acre of hard ground on a slope, covered in weeds, thistles and stinging nettles. Not my idea of fun, though I do admire hubby's enthusiasm and feel that I should sometimes support him as I will happily eat whatever grows! Not sure that much will as there seems to be evidence of deer or large animals that come through at night and I am sure they ate half of it all last year! So he took M in the car with his prize rotavator and I trudged down the lane with 2 grumpy children!
Eventually got there without too much incident - unlike the time a few weeks ago when I was locked out and went to find hubby. Thinking he would be at the allotment I walked 3 tired and fed up children down the lane with scooters which was bound to end in disaster - and it did. E managed to fall off - I was already in a bad mood so ignored her cries , they were all crying and whining anyway and I have learned to zone out sometimes! - just wanting to get home after finding hubby was not there! It was starting to get cool and I was getting fed up - understatement - I was starting to think of all the things I would do to hubby when I eventually found him!
It was only as time went on that I realised E had actually really hurt herself and was bleeding profusely! (oops - not going to get mother of the year award here then)! But as we were on a lane in the middle of nowhere I had nothing on me to help stop the flow of blood or tears and just felt like crying myself. Just as I was despairing of the fact that I am not the sort of mother to have tissues to hand (unlike my own who had an obsession for them!) , weird bloke from down the road pulled up and quickly jumped to assist me with a hanky! Phew! life improved after that and we all managed to get home. Then I remembered there was a key with a neighbour and was able to gain access back to the house! and plasters! Vowing never to leave the premises again!
At the allotment I worked with hubby putting in onions and potatoes and trying to ignore the cries of "I'm bored" we worked quickly with rake and fork to break up the ground and insert the vegetables into holes. Finally, after an hour we finished. The children were keen to get home so it was an easier walk and we played "I spy" which passed the time. Promising H the bribe of cookies, he was on a mission in his spider wellies to get up the hill without moaning too much!
I keep wanting to put " and they all went home for tea" - a throwback to my Enid Blyton days when every Famous Five book had lengthy descriptions of high tea and high jinks at the farm. That's all I can remember. We had lunch then decided what to do next. It was agreed that it was too windy for the beach, and being BANK HOLIDAY would be too busy down there to park. The local farm - would be okay, apart from the lack of animals but if it rained there was not much to do. Finally decided to drive in the car - which always works as a calmer of children and frayed nerves of parents to a countryside centre with tea rooms and play area - winner!
And we actually managed to have alot of fun. We went to see the birds in a hideout, had a walk and then played in the play area, though it did rain so this was cut short - blessed relief - a tea room with fabulous iced cakes, fudge brownies, scones - I could go on! and on! There were even toys to play with! Hoorah! So hubby and myself swapped a smile over the steaming brews and relaxed - aaaaaahhhhhhhhh
I surfaced late today which was a real luxury - hubby got the milk this morning - that is a fairly rare event because he is better at ignoring our small boy than I am. Usually it is me with alot of attitude (and I wonder where the girls get it from!) Stomp, stomp, stomp down the stairs - click the kettle on - always a must if in the vicinity of the kettle! Even if I don't want a drink, I always like to put the kettle on - just in case! Anyway today I was able to languish in my bed just a bit longer than usual and without a hangover too! Did get out of bed because I do like a nice cuppa when there and hubby had only done the milk part so I managed to make breakfast for 2 of the children then snuck back to bed! Heaven!!
I love a good read so, avoiding the amorous advances of hubby, I managed to read a few chapters and although I could hear the drone of cbeebies downstairs I was able to give myself some time and space - much needed to start the day! Anyway back to the BANK HOLIDAY! Eventually I managed to drag myself out of bed - enticed by a latte made by hubby - that's another thing whilst on the subject why oh why is it so difficult for me to get dressed in the morning??? I can get out of bed but it can take me hours to actually put some clothes on! Is this a usual state of affairs?? It seems to be getting worse as I get older! Any way eventually committed myself to the actual getting dressed act and after that I am ready for anything!
Paddled downstairs, just a turn of phrase , did not actually paddle. The children were in various states, some breakfasted, some half dressed, playing games, watching TV. As soon as I landed it seemed that the arguing started! There was a fight over doggies, one over dog beds and blankets etc etc. Children went into the garden but it was too cold so they came back in again. The weather was that horrible in between stage - sunny but too windy - which meant that the children were unable to go outside but not happy inside so kept going in and out! Causing me to have to keep getting up and down to ensure that H did not trap his fingers in the door!
Then hubby suggested going to the allotment (one of my pet hates as nothing for them to do there)and too much for me to have to do as well. I like to ignore its existence - too much like hard work - half an acre of hard ground on a slope, covered in weeds, thistles and stinging nettles. Not my idea of fun, though I do admire hubby's enthusiasm and feel that I should sometimes support him as I will happily eat whatever grows! Not sure that much will as there seems to be evidence of deer or large animals that come through at night and I am sure they ate half of it all last year! So he took M in the car with his prize rotavator and I trudged down the lane with 2 grumpy children!
Eventually got there without too much incident - unlike the time a few weeks ago when I was locked out and went to find hubby. Thinking he would be at the allotment I walked 3 tired and fed up children down the lane with scooters which was bound to end in disaster - and it did. E managed to fall off - I was already in a bad mood so ignored her cries , they were all crying and whining anyway and I have learned to zone out sometimes! - just wanting to get home after finding hubby was not there! It was starting to get cool and I was getting fed up - understatement - I was starting to think of all the things I would do to hubby when I eventually found him!
It was only as time went on that I realised E had actually really hurt herself and was bleeding profusely! (oops - not going to get mother of the year award here then)! But as we were on a lane in the middle of nowhere I had nothing on me to help stop the flow of blood or tears and just felt like crying myself. Just as I was despairing of the fact that I am not the sort of mother to have tissues to hand (unlike my own who had an obsession for them!) , weird bloke from down the road pulled up and quickly jumped to assist me with a hanky! Phew! life improved after that and we all managed to get home. Then I remembered there was a key with a neighbour and was able to gain access back to the house! and plasters! Vowing never to leave the premises again!
At the allotment I worked with hubby putting in onions and potatoes and trying to ignore the cries of "I'm bored" we worked quickly with rake and fork to break up the ground and insert the vegetables into holes. Finally, after an hour we finished. The children were keen to get home so it was an easier walk and we played "I spy" which passed the time. Promising H the bribe of cookies, he was on a mission in his spider wellies to get up the hill without moaning too much!
I keep wanting to put " and they all went home for tea" - a throwback to my Enid Blyton days when every Famous Five book had lengthy descriptions of high tea and high jinks at the farm. That's all I can remember. We had lunch then decided what to do next. It was agreed that it was too windy for the beach, and being BANK HOLIDAY would be too busy down there to park. The local farm - would be okay, apart from the lack of animals but if it rained there was not much to do. Finally decided to drive in the car - which always works as a calmer of children and frayed nerves of parents to a countryside centre with tea rooms and play area - winner!
And we actually managed to have alot of fun. We went to see the birds in a hideout, had a walk and then played in the play area, though it did rain so this was cut short - blessed relief - a tea room with fabulous iced cakes, fudge brownies, scones - I could go on! and on! There were even toys to play with! Hoorah! So hubby and myself swapped a smile over the steaming brews and relaxed - aaaaaahhhhhhhhh
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